Tuesday, November 30, 2004
The clock has moved past midnight and I’m suppose I am technically no longer in my 20s. But, since I wasn’t born until sometime after seven in the morning, I’ll still consider myself 29 for the purposes of this.
Birthdays used to always be a big deal for me and I often utilized them to reflect back upon the year that had passed. Given my penchant for over thinking things, this predictably led to some deep and dark moments of introspection. The last few years have been different.
I always thought that turning 30 would be a combined huge occasion and crushing reality check for me. In some ways, I suppose that reality-check began a few years ago when I bought a house and the got married. Reality check is probably the wrong description; it’s been more like, dare I say, growing-up. Either way, the fact I am about to be a father at some point in the next couple of weeks has been the major distraction that has kept me from thinking about turning 30, until today at least.
Change has been something I have been good at and given the massive amount of change that is potentially about to happen in my life, it was only natural that turning 30 would start to sink in.
The baby aside, I have also been dealing with career issues and have been actively looking for another job. Not exactly the best timing to be starting a new job, but when have I ever not taken on huge changes at one time. Not to rehash, but in less than three years time, I have bought house, got married, been laid-off, gotten a new job and am now about to turn 30, become a Dad and potentially leave one job for another. Some people go their entire life without doing as much; but, enough with the self-glorification.
I had a dream last night where my old roommate Piper and I were back in the same dorm room we had junior year in college. In the dream, we were our current age, but we had come back for our senor year. The room was exactly how we left, except for the ton of trash and stuff we left behind in addition to none of the people we lived with being there anymore. I found the timing of the dream to be strangely coincidental.
So many of my past birthdays through my early- to mid- 20s were spent worrying about what I was going to do with my life. Thing is, I still worry about that, but unlike the true worries from the past, these are now unfounded. It’s hard to speculate about what you want to be when you grow-up when you are grown-up. And you know, it’s not a bad thing to have your shit together. It also doesn’t mean I can’t stop being hungry for what I want in life, and that remain to be a writer. But, it now includes being a great husband and an incredible father.
Father, it is still such a weird concept for me to think about; it has remained surreal through out all of this. You know, many jokes have flown form family members about the baby being born on my birthday. I’ve resisted it, but, in truth, I’d welcome it and my only birthday wish would be for the health and safety of both mom and baby.
So, goodbye my dear 20s, you treated me quite well but I’ve got no time for you anymore. We’ll always have the memories though, well, so long as all the partying I did with you didn’t steal too much of my memory.
Birthdays used to always be a big deal for me and I often utilized them to reflect back upon the year that had passed. Given my penchant for over thinking things, this predictably led to some deep and dark moments of introspection. The last few years have been different.
I always thought that turning 30 would be a combined huge occasion and crushing reality check for me. In some ways, I suppose that reality-check began a few years ago when I bought a house and the got married. Reality check is probably the wrong description; it’s been more like, dare I say, growing-up. Either way, the fact I am about to be a father at some point in the next couple of weeks has been the major distraction that has kept me from thinking about turning 30, until today at least.
Change has been something I have been good at and given the massive amount of change that is potentially about to happen in my life, it was only natural that turning 30 would start to sink in.
The baby aside, I have also been dealing with career issues and have been actively looking for another job. Not exactly the best timing to be starting a new job, but when have I ever not taken on huge changes at one time. Not to rehash, but in less than three years time, I have bought house, got married, been laid-off, gotten a new job and am now about to turn 30, become a Dad and potentially leave one job for another. Some people go their entire life without doing as much; but, enough with the self-glorification.
I had a dream last night where my old roommate Piper and I were back in the same dorm room we had junior year in college. In the dream, we were our current age, but we had come back for our senor year. The room was exactly how we left, except for the ton of trash and stuff we left behind in addition to none of the people we lived with being there anymore. I found the timing of the dream to be strangely coincidental.
So many of my past birthdays through my early- to mid- 20s were spent worrying about what I was going to do with my life. Thing is, I still worry about that, but unlike the true worries from the past, these are now unfounded. It’s hard to speculate about what you want to be when you grow-up when you are grown-up. And you know, it’s not a bad thing to have your shit together. It also doesn’t mean I can’t stop being hungry for what I want in life, and that remain to be a writer. But, it now includes being a great husband and an incredible father.
Father, it is still such a weird concept for me to think about; it has remained surreal through out all of this. You know, many jokes have flown form family members about the baby being born on my birthday. I’ve resisted it, but, in truth, I’d welcome it and my only birthday wish would be for the health and safety of both mom and baby.
So, goodbye my dear 20s, you treated me quite well but I’ve got no time for you anymore. We’ll always have the memories though, well, so long as all the partying I did with you didn’t steal too much of my memory.
