Thursday, October 30, 2003
With my first wedding anniversary rapidly approaching I have received my first taste of what the anxiety of trying to find the perfect gift most be for the millions of married folks out there. Fortunately, before I twisted myself in a knot, I remembered that there is a traditional list of appropriate gifts out there for each year. That is when I discovered that someone had updated the traditional list with a corresponding contemporary one and noticed some interesting trends.
Let’s look at the first one. The traditional gift for your first anniversary gift is paper. Now, if you’re like me, you’re wondering just how exciting can paper be? The answer is romantic and practical. You can easily fill this if a book, tickets to a show or go straight to the heart with a poem, but write it yourself. Don’t be one of those people who buy one of the multitudes of ready-made romantic verse out there. I highly recommend going the traditional route versus its contemporary; a clock. I suppose that is practical at least, but clocks on everything we own these days, I’m sure my wife isn’t in the market for a clock.
Skipping ahead to the fifth year gifts, we find traditionally wood in the gift given. Wood? “Happy anniversary honey, here’s a log.” Doesn’t exactly say I love you. The contemporary solution to this was to revise wood to silverware. Nothing exudes love like a fork.
The tenth anniversary comparison is where the lists get truly interesting. Traditionally, tin is the gift given. Again, not much better than wood, but at least tin or aluminum provide a bit more flexibility in terms of gift finding. Now, the contemporary offers a much more viable and expensive alternative, diamonds. Diamonds are traditionally given on the sixtieth anniversary, so I can only gather that these contemporaries have factored in the high divorce rate of this country, figuring their best chance at diamond was to bump it up 50 years.
The contemporaries did make an attempt to make up for this expensive change five year later at the 15th, exchanging the traditional crystal for watches. Sure, watches can be just as much if not more expensive as crystal, but if you’d dumped a few thousand on a diamond five years prior, you can easily fill this year with a nice $30 Timex. However, it’s a bit of an illusion as they stick it to you five years later.
How nice it must have been years ago to get away with celebrating your two decades together with a gift of China. Not that I advise in selecting china patterns on your own,but it is the perfect do-it-yourself gift for your wife. You could even get creative and surprise her with a trip to China. I like it; the contemporaries did not. Their gift is platinum. Platinum that precious metal retailing at roughly three times the price of gold. Yes, we’re back to jewelry for year 20.
After all these changes it is nice to know the traditionalists and the contemporaries all agreed that silver is indeed the appropriate gift for year twenty-five. But the contemporaries are back to their new trick in year thirty. Traditionally, pearls are the gift for your 30th, the new-age gift has been rectified to diamonds…again. Apparently, these folks feel if they survive this long they deserve more diamonds. Hey, pearls are pretty expensive too, but I guess they are just too old-fashioned. In keeping with modern trends, it seem our contemporaries gave up re-jiggering the list after 30, figuring they would either be dead, divorced or just sick of their spouse by then I guess.
There are a couple of other big gift mark-ups between the two lists in other odd years. Take the fourth anniversary with its traditional and easy gift of fruit or flowers compared to the contemporary of appliances? Then we have the ninth where traditional pottery as been expensively changed to leather. But my favorite comes in year eleven where apparently fashion jewelry is preferred to the traditional steel. I have to disagree with this; nothing says you mean the world to me more than a nice solid steel girder. Tens years to go, I can’t wait.
Let’s look at the first one. The traditional gift for your first anniversary gift is paper. Now, if you’re like me, you’re wondering just how exciting can paper be? The answer is romantic and practical. You can easily fill this if a book, tickets to a show or go straight to the heart with a poem, but write it yourself. Don’t be one of those people who buy one of the multitudes of ready-made romantic verse out there. I highly recommend going the traditional route versus its contemporary; a clock. I suppose that is practical at least, but clocks on everything we own these days, I’m sure my wife isn’t in the market for a clock.
Skipping ahead to the fifth year gifts, we find traditionally wood in the gift given. Wood? “Happy anniversary honey, here’s a log.” Doesn’t exactly say I love you. The contemporary solution to this was to revise wood to silverware. Nothing exudes love like a fork.
The tenth anniversary comparison is where the lists get truly interesting. Traditionally, tin is the gift given. Again, not much better than wood, but at least tin or aluminum provide a bit more flexibility in terms of gift finding. Now, the contemporary offers a much more viable and expensive alternative, diamonds. Diamonds are traditionally given on the sixtieth anniversary, so I can only gather that these contemporaries have factored in the high divorce rate of this country, figuring their best chance at diamond was to bump it up 50 years.
The contemporaries did make an attempt to make up for this expensive change five year later at the 15th, exchanging the traditional crystal for watches. Sure, watches can be just as much if not more expensive as crystal, but if you’d dumped a few thousand on a diamond five years prior, you can easily fill this year with a nice $30 Timex. However, it’s a bit of an illusion as they stick it to you five years later.
How nice it must have been years ago to get away with celebrating your two decades together with a gift of China. Not that I advise in selecting china patterns on your own,but it is the perfect do-it-yourself gift for your wife. You could even get creative and surprise her with a trip to China. I like it; the contemporaries did not. Their gift is platinum. Platinum that precious metal retailing at roughly three times the price of gold. Yes, we’re back to jewelry for year 20.
After all these changes it is nice to know the traditionalists and the contemporaries all agreed that silver is indeed the appropriate gift for year twenty-five. But the contemporaries are back to their new trick in year thirty. Traditionally, pearls are the gift for your 30th, the new-age gift has been rectified to diamonds…again. Apparently, these folks feel if they survive this long they deserve more diamonds. Hey, pearls are pretty expensive too, but I guess they are just too old-fashioned. In keeping with modern trends, it seem our contemporaries gave up re-jiggering the list after 30, figuring they would either be dead, divorced or just sick of their spouse by then I guess.
There are a couple of other big gift mark-ups between the two lists in other odd years. Take the fourth anniversary with its traditional and easy gift of fruit or flowers compared to the contemporary of appliances? Then we have the ninth where traditional pottery as been expensively changed to leather. But my favorite comes in year eleven where apparently fashion jewelry is preferred to the traditional steel. I have to disagree with this; nothing says you mean the world to me more than a nice solid steel girder. Tens years to go, I can’t wait.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
I suppose I always knew the day would come when I would utter phrases that began “I remember when…” I just didn’t think it would happen before my 30th birthday. But there I was the other day in South Station having just missed my train home with a dead cell phone preventing me from calling home to inform the wife. So I saddled up to my first public telephone in years, reached into my pocket for a quarter and nearly choked on my iced cappuccino at the big 50-cent logo starring back at me. Fifty cents? I remember when pay phones cost only ten cents. This of course got me thinking about what else has changed so much in my 28 and ten-twelve’s years.
I remember when showing up to college with one of those 25-pound Brother word processors had me ably prepared. Those days, the only folks with computers were either rich or geeks. The Brothers were big, bulky slow and loud. Nothing will ever beat with the time my roommate and I were simultaneously printing out 35-page history reports on dueling Brothers. I think our entire floor thought they were under attack.
I remember when candy bars were only a quarter and the stale bubble gum in the baseball card packs of the same price was the best gum going. The highlights of every summer day were the daily trips to the corner store to pick up another pack of baseball cards. We still traded them back then and there were even a couple of kids in the neighborhood who stuck them in the spokes of their bikes. But the gum, the gum was the greatest tasting flavor there was, even if it only lasted 20 seconds.
I remember when kissing a girl in middle school was the most risqué thing in the world. I’ll never forget my first seventh grade dance, spinning around to the required Stairway to Heaven last dance, and looking over and seeing two of my classmates kissing. Coming from a catholic school, I instantly was shown the light on how cool public school would be. I made it my mission to find that ever-elusive first kiss, a kiss I finally got a bat mitzvah of all places that spring. Sitting at Mother’s Day brunch the next morning, I recall a sick feeling in my stomach, as if I just done something terribly wrong. These days, kids are having sex in the hallways.
And to get back to telephones, I’m not even sure I remember what life was like before cell phones, oh yeah, much quieter. You were actually able to go out to dinner or a movie without having to overhear someone’s annoying conversation or disgusting novelty ring. I miss the time when cell phones weighted about 15 pounds and were only carried by doctors and folks who needed to flaunt their wealth. I suppose the notion of cell phone is good for emergency situations, but I don’t need to hear what is going on in every stranger’s life.
Yes, I sound like some sort of old curmudgeon despite my relatively young age, but the rapid progress of technology has made it possible. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t given into many of the latest gadgets, but I still enjoy the way life was. I guess I’m a romantic in that sense and I can only imagine how what I’m going to be like when I’m 50. Although by then, I imagine we’ll have something that does our thinking for us.
I remember when showing up to college with one of those 25-pound Brother word processors had me ably prepared. Those days, the only folks with computers were either rich or geeks. The Brothers were big, bulky slow and loud. Nothing will ever beat with the time my roommate and I were simultaneously printing out 35-page history reports on dueling Brothers. I think our entire floor thought they were under attack.
I remember when candy bars were only a quarter and the stale bubble gum in the baseball card packs of the same price was the best gum going. The highlights of every summer day were the daily trips to the corner store to pick up another pack of baseball cards. We still traded them back then and there were even a couple of kids in the neighborhood who stuck them in the spokes of their bikes. But the gum, the gum was the greatest tasting flavor there was, even if it only lasted 20 seconds.
I remember when kissing a girl in middle school was the most risqué thing in the world. I’ll never forget my first seventh grade dance, spinning around to the required Stairway to Heaven last dance, and looking over and seeing two of my classmates kissing. Coming from a catholic school, I instantly was shown the light on how cool public school would be. I made it my mission to find that ever-elusive first kiss, a kiss I finally got a bat mitzvah of all places that spring. Sitting at Mother’s Day brunch the next morning, I recall a sick feeling in my stomach, as if I just done something terribly wrong. These days, kids are having sex in the hallways.
And to get back to telephones, I’m not even sure I remember what life was like before cell phones, oh yeah, much quieter. You were actually able to go out to dinner or a movie without having to overhear someone’s annoying conversation or disgusting novelty ring. I miss the time when cell phones weighted about 15 pounds and were only carried by doctors and folks who needed to flaunt their wealth. I suppose the notion of cell phone is good for emergency situations, but I don’t need to hear what is going on in every stranger’s life.
Yes, I sound like some sort of old curmudgeon despite my relatively young age, but the rapid progress of technology has made it possible. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t given into many of the latest gadgets, but I still enjoy the way life was. I guess I’m a romantic in that sense and I can only imagine how what I’m going to be like when I’m 50. Although by then, I imagine we’ll have something that does our thinking for us.
Friday, October 17, 2003
This one hurt. This was supposed to be our year and this hurts more than anything I can recall. Five outs away, the game in hand, cut down by a manager, who went with his heart over his head, now doomed to the debate of Red Sox lore while a nation of Sox fans mourn. It’s going to be a long while before time blows away the salt from our dried-up tears.
It easy to second-guess Grady Little for not taking Pedro out in that eighth inning, lord knows we will be doing it until the Sox win the Series. His neglect to not pull Pedro will destine him to the company of Bucker and Bucky Bleeping Dent in future discussions of the hard luck Sox. But as much as I want to fault him, I can’t. I’ve always believed you can’t go wrong when you go with heart. Sometimes it works and others, well, it doesn’t. But he went with his gut, and honestly, who else would you want on the mound other than the best pitcher in baseball, tired or not. Unfortunately Little’s heart broke all of ours.
And now we are left with the Yankees once again in the World Series. That is really the hardest part of this to digest. It’s not so much that we lost a game seven, it’s that we lost it to the hated Evil Empire. Once again the Yankee mystique came through much to our distain and we are left at home forced to watch them battle for their 27th championship. It’s really too much to take, the aura of luck around that team. And they are lucky. After all, it was nothing more than a pop-up that somehow found a way to drop in that cost us this game. Bambino or not, somehow the ghosts of Yankee’s past swept through the Bronx and dropped that bloop just beyond the reach of the Sox fielders. That was when my cynical Sox side kicked in. I just knew the game might have been lost then, as if that Boone home run was destined to happen. I guess sometimes good can’t always win.
So we are left with the proverbial wait ‘till next year. As much as Red Sox nation is sick and tired of this notion, it’s our ill-fated reality. But, wasn’t this team fun? It was a great ride this year. This was a Sox team unlike any I can remember in my lifetime. They tore the cover off the ball, gave us so many great come-from-behind moments including that improbable victory over the A’s in the division series. As much as this hurts now, it really was a great season that just came up a little bit too short…again.
But, they’ll be back next year and we’ll make a run at it again. The only thing left to say is thank you. Thank you Red Sox for giving us all something to believe in and something to be passionate about. That game seven, as heartbreaking as it was, is why we all love this game and this team. Opening day is only six months away, until then, how about them Patriots?
It easy to second-guess Grady Little for not taking Pedro out in that eighth inning, lord knows we will be doing it until the Sox win the Series. His neglect to not pull Pedro will destine him to the company of Bucker and Bucky Bleeping Dent in future discussions of the hard luck Sox. But as much as I want to fault him, I can’t. I’ve always believed you can’t go wrong when you go with heart. Sometimes it works and others, well, it doesn’t. But he went with his gut, and honestly, who else would you want on the mound other than the best pitcher in baseball, tired or not. Unfortunately Little’s heart broke all of ours.
And now we are left with the Yankees once again in the World Series. That is really the hardest part of this to digest. It’s not so much that we lost a game seven, it’s that we lost it to the hated Evil Empire. Once again the Yankee mystique came through much to our distain and we are left at home forced to watch them battle for their 27th championship. It’s really too much to take, the aura of luck around that team. And they are lucky. After all, it was nothing more than a pop-up that somehow found a way to drop in that cost us this game. Bambino or not, somehow the ghosts of Yankee’s past swept through the Bronx and dropped that bloop just beyond the reach of the Sox fielders. That was when my cynical Sox side kicked in. I just knew the game might have been lost then, as if that Boone home run was destined to happen. I guess sometimes good can’t always win.
So we are left with the proverbial wait ‘till next year. As much as Red Sox nation is sick and tired of this notion, it’s our ill-fated reality. But, wasn’t this team fun? It was a great ride this year. This was a Sox team unlike any I can remember in my lifetime. They tore the cover off the ball, gave us so many great come-from-behind moments including that improbable victory over the A’s in the division series. As much as this hurts now, it really was a great season that just came up a little bit too short…again.
But, they’ll be back next year and we’ll make a run at it again. The only thing left to say is thank you. Thank you Red Sox for giving us all something to believe in and something to be passionate about. That game seven, as heartbreaking as it was, is why we all love this game and this team. Opening day is only six months away, until then, how about them Patriots?
Thursday, October 09, 2003
My friends are getting married this weekend and I couldn’t feel any worse for them. No, I’m not upset that two more are making the leap from the holy land of singledom, which would be hypocritical. No, I feel bad because they are getting married this Saturday.
Unless you’ve been living in a hole or doing damage control for the newly elected
Governator of California, you know all about the Red Sox huge series against the New York We’re Richer Than You Yankees. Yes, the dreaded Evil Empire is not only in town for game three on Saturday afternoon at Fenway, but Pedro Martinez is scheduled to work against number one traitor Roger Clemens. It could be the most anticipated and exiting match-up of the series and my friends are getting married right smack in the middle of it. Ouch.
No sooner had I finally pulled my heart out of my throat following the Sox win over the A’s, did I realize that my friends wedding was on a crash course with game three’s four o’clock start. My thoughts instantly flashbacked to another friend of mine who had the dubious distinction of getting married during the Pedro/Benedict Arnold match-up in game three of the ’99 series. To this day, she still moans about losing most of her reception to the television in the bar. I’d imagine she would be far less bitter if one of those absentee Sox devotees hadn’t been her husband. This Saturday should prove to be even more interesting.
See, the soon-to-be-groom grew up in New York and is a lifetime pin-striper while the bride-in-waiting is native Bostonian with a strict allegiance to the Sox. Add it all and it amounts to a room divided. Fortunately for we Sox lovers, the wedding is on our home turf, which at least gives us hand as the Yankees fans begin arriving for the rehearsal dinner Friday night. Can you see the Hatfield and McCoy scenario playing out? I know it won’t get heated, after all we’re all civil people, even the Yankee fans. Plus, the ground rules have been laid-out by the groom.
With the ceremony likely to be completed by 3:30 and a reception start of 5:00, there is a bit of a window there. The groom has put in a request for scores to be relayed at the bar as long as nothing is announced over the PA system at the reception. Pretty confidant that this will not satiate the masses, I went into contingency planning mode. A few emails later, I was able to confirm a television in the bar adjacent to the reception hall and secure a portable TV as a back-up. In an effort to not upset the bride, I figure we can go in shifts to the reception staying in contact with the bar folks via two-way radio. At the very least this should keep everyone happy with no one the wiser. Plus, barring extra frames, I figure we’ll all be back in time for dessert.
Being in the wedding party, my last dilemma is deciphering if I will be jinxing my beloved Sox by standing up next to a Yankee fan. But, if Larry Bird can induct Magic Johnson into the hall of fame, I can certainly stand-up for a Yankee fan. I just hope my Sox hat doesn’t clash too much with my tux.
Unless you’ve been living in a hole or doing damage control for the newly elected
Governator of California, you know all about the Red Sox huge series against the New York We’re Richer Than You Yankees. Yes, the dreaded Evil Empire is not only in town for game three on Saturday afternoon at Fenway, but Pedro Martinez is scheduled to work against number one traitor Roger Clemens. It could be the most anticipated and exiting match-up of the series and my friends are getting married right smack in the middle of it. Ouch.
No sooner had I finally pulled my heart out of my throat following the Sox win over the A’s, did I realize that my friends wedding was on a crash course with game three’s four o’clock start. My thoughts instantly flashbacked to another friend of mine who had the dubious distinction of getting married during the Pedro/Benedict Arnold match-up in game three of the ’99 series. To this day, she still moans about losing most of her reception to the television in the bar. I’d imagine she would be far less bitter if one of those absentee Sox devotees hadn’t been her husband. This Saturday should prove to be even more interesting.
See, the soon-to-be-groom grew up in New York and is a lifetime pin-striper while the bride-in-waiting is native Bostonian with a strict allegiance to the Sox. Add it all and it amounts to a room divided. Fortunately for we Sox lovers, the wedding is on our home turf, which at least gives us hand as the Yankees fans begin arriving for the rehearsal dinner Friday night. Can you see the Hatfield and McCoy scenario playing out? I know it won’t get heated, after all we’re all civil people, even the Yankee fans. Plus, the ground rules have been laid-out by the groom.
With the ceremony likely to be completed by 3:30 and a reception start of 5:00, there is a bit of a window there. The groom has put in a request for scores to be relayed at the bar as long as nothing is announced over the PA system at the reception. Pretty confidant that this will not satiate the masses, I went into contingency planning mode. A few emails later, I was able to confirm a television in the bar adjacent to the reception hall and secure a portable TV as a back-up. In an effort to not upset the bride, I figure we can go in shifts to the reception staying in contact with the bar folks via two-way radio. At the very least this should keep everyone happy with no one the wiser. Plus, barring extra frames, I figure we’ll all be back in time for dessert.
Being in the wedding party, my last dilemma is deciphering if I will be jinxing my beloved Sox by standing up next to a Yankee fan. But, if Larry Bird can induct Magic Johnson into the hall of fame, I can certainly stand-up for a Yankee fan. I just hope my Sox hat doesn’t clash too much with my tux.
