Thursday, March 04, 2004
If you're anything like me than you are prone to delusions of grandeur. But you also are prone to a minor inferiority complex when it comes to reflecting upon your high school days.
I had a weird series of dreams the other night, the kind where several people you haven't thought about for years play prominent roles. You, know, the ones where you are still chasing the girl that got away or reliving those embarrassing moments of teenage awkwardness. The dream this particular night had them all, including an interesting situation where I got to be rejected by two old high school crushes all over again. Trampled three-some dreams aside, what struck me the most about this dream was the presence of my old chemistry lab mate.
Truth be told, I had been in classes with this kid since junior high, but it was the hilarity of science experiment gone bad that sticks out the most in my memory cache. This kid was a genius and often as a lab partner his chemical virtuosity would lead to quick completion of assigned tasks leaving plenty of time for chemical freelancing. Our peak accomplishment came the day our adlibbing forced the school to be evacuated.
I didn’t see this kid after graduation and probably have thought about him once in the 12 years since, until the other night.
He was one of those eccentric geniuses we all knew in high school, the kid you was teased often in elementary who hit that right blend of oddity and intelligence, that you couldn’t help but admire them. You knew they were going places in life. After this old acquaintance’s dream appearance, I woke up wondering what had become of him.
Naturally, I had to Google him.
What I found simultaneously amazed me and instilled great feeling of inadequacy.
It turns out this kid got heavily involved in the Internet and rode the boom of the late 1990s to great fortunes. He was one of founders of what is now a multi-billion company and has appeared in countless articles, many in national publications. He since gone on to form his own production company and serves on the board of directors of a well-known advocacy group. In contrast, I once did publicity for a small local jamband and have been quoted in a couple of trade publications.
Still, I wondered how I matched-up against my former classmates. I wondered how I would match-up should any of my former classmates find themselves with the need to size themselves up against me. So I got to googling myself. The result: I had three pages to this kids eight.
Embarrassing. Or so I thought.
I mean, two google pages is a pretty good for someone pushing thirty, right? Granted, I’ve had the luxury of being in the type of work where you output becomes part of public consumption, but I’m doing okay. Surely, I’m doing better than some of my other classmates. So I googled a few before my narcissistic acts got the better of me.
The entire exercise did raise some interesting questions for me. How often do former high school classmates wonder about how they measure up to people they’ve lost touch with? I don’t know that I have overtly made wondered how I stack up to former friends, but I can’t ignore when my subconscious forces these thought to my conscious. So I wonder, it’s foolish but I do.
It could be a reason why I didn’t attend either my fifth or tenth reunion. But more so, I think it might be jealousy. See, most people I went to high school with remained in Rhode Island and have remained close friends. But I have drifted. Maybe it was a desire to put that prt of life behind me because I certainly had a good high school experience copmpared to the normal teenager. I’m more inclined to think the reason lies in the fact I have always gotten further and further away from old friends.
I realize that I tend to live my life in stages and as I get older I ‘m beginning to understand more that you can’t always take everything and everyone from your past with you. Even in this day and age, its hard to keep in touch with people. You can’t expect to still know the daily activities of your old high school hockey teammate or college drinking buddy. Life just moves too fast. So, you take a few companions on life’s ride and simply have count your blessing for having such great memories. If you never forget, you always have the fond dreams to look forward to.
I had a weird series of dreams the other night, the kind where several people you haven't thought about for years play prominent roles. You, know, the ones where you are still chasing the girl that got away or reliving those embarrassing moments of teenage awkwardness. The dream this particular night had them all, including an interesting situation where I got to be rejected by two old high school crushes all over again. Trampled three-some dreams aside, what struck me the most about this dream was the presence of my old chemistry lab mate.
Truth be told, I had been in classes with this kid since junior high, but it was the hilarity of science experiment gone bad that sticks out the most in my memory cache. This kid was a genius and often as a lab partner his chemical virtuosity would lead to quick completion of assigned tasks leaving plenty of time for chemical freelancing. Our peak accomplishment came the day our adlibbing forced the school to be evacuated.
I didn’t see this kid after graduation and probably have thought about him once in the 12 years since, until the other night.
He was one of those eccentric geniuses we all knew in high school, the kid you was teased often in elementary who hit that right blend of oddity and intelligence, that you couldn’t help but admire them. You knew they were going places in life. After this old acquaintance’s dream appearance, I woke up wondering what had become of him.
Naturally, I had to Google him.
What I found simultaneously amazed me and instilled great feeling of inadequacy.
It turns out this kid got heavily involved in the Internet and rode the boom of the late 1990s to great fortunes. He was one of founders of what is now a multi-billion company and has appeared in countless articles, many in national publications. He since gone on to form his own production company and serves on the board of directors of a well-known advocacy group. In contrast, I once did publicity for a small local jamband and have been quoted in a couple of trade publications.
Still, I wondered how I matched-up against my former classmates. I wondered how I would match-up should any of my former classmates find themselves with the need to size themselves up against me. So I got to googling myself. The result: I had three pages to this kids eight.
Embarrassing. Or so I thought.
I mean, two google pages is a pretty good for someone pushing thirty, right? Granted, I’ve had the luxury of being in the type of work where you output becomes part of public consumption, but I’m doing okay. Surely, I’m doing better than some of my other classmates. So I googled a few before my narcissistic acts got the better of me.
The entire exercise did raise some interesting questions for me. How often do former high school classmates wonder about how they measure up to people they’ve lost touch with? I don’t know that I have overtly made wondered how I stack up to former friends, but I can’t ignore when my subconscious forces these thought to my conscious. So I wonder, it’s foolish but I do.
It could be a reason why I didn’t attend either my fifth or tenth reunion. But more so, I think it might be jealousy. See, most people I went to high school with remained in Rhode Island and have remained close friends. But I have drifted. Maybe it was a desire to put that prt of life behind me because I certainly had a good high school experience copmpared to the normal teenager. I’m more inclined to think the reason lies in the fact I have always gotten further and further away from old friends.
I realize that I tend to live my life in stages and as I get older I ‘m beginning to understand more that you can’t always take everything and everyone from your past with you. Even in this day and age, its hard to keep in touch with people. You can’t expect to still know the daily activities of your old high school hockey teammate or college drinking buddy. Life just moves too fast. So, you take a few companions on life’s ride and simply have count your blessing for having such great memories. If you never forget, you always have the fond dreams to look forward to.
